FOR THE RECORD

I have decided to share these moments in screenshots with you.

I have thought about it for a long time… I have looked through them in pain, heartbroken and distraught over and over again in the past two months.

Every single day… I looked at them… read every single one of them. 100 of them… “my hundred friends”

I developed a strange bitter sweet relationship with them as I started to know them personally… the authors, the message, the date, the colour, the length, the feeling, the love, the hate, the life, the death… THE DEATHS.

At the start, I thought it would be therapy and that embedding my pain in the way others had captured the moment would help me heal.

Sometimes it worked… and sometimes I simply sunk into greater depression.

Sometimes, I felt so paralyzed from reading them, and I would stop… unable to do anything, unable to think… unable to feel… unable to laugh… unable to cry… SIMPLY STUNNED.

I could do a text analysis and use these moments as they were captured to tell a story or to attempt a socio-political analysis of our environment. I could make an interesting/intelligent piece out of it. And even at this moment when I have decided to share, I have discarded five or six attempted articles before settling on this simple format that allows you… each one of you to let the screenshots speak to you.

As they speak to you, speak to them too. Alone or in small groups. Think about them… feel them… smell them… stretch out your hand and touch them.

If you have that feeling of numbness, it’s ok. It’s part of the therapy. It’s going to be personal for each one of you… perhaps in similar ways… perhaps in different ways. But the reason why I have not constructed an article around them is that I want you to have them raw.

They are screenshots of comments made by Cameroonians over a period of one week.

28th September 2017 – 5th October 2017.

Something happened in Cameroon on 1st October 2017.

It shocked Cameroonians in their deepest parts.

Most couldn't say much… just little tweets that said it all. I followed them… I captured them… I said my piece. Perhaps you said yours. Perhaps you didn’t. Perhaps I didn’t see yours… but I couldn’t have seen all nor could I have captured all. Also, Facebook only allows a limited number of photos per post. So even here, I have not been able to share all “my 100 friends”.

In passing… You may want to know why I finally decided to share them. A few days ago, I saw a Communiqué attributed to a Senior Divisional Officer asking people to evacuate certain parts. I feared that bad things may happen again which may generate a new set of friends… So I had to let these go... not only in the hope of completing my therapy but also to create space for new friends.

When you've looked at the shots, if it helps you to leave a comment, please don't hesitate to do so.

If you share the post and other express their pain, please help them to heal. Reply to them, Call them, chat with them... We all need to heal.